you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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