garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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