May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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