atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
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THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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