I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
the liver wants what the liver wants
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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