You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
