I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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