you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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