oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I cut my penus on the lid.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
