you guys were way drunker than both of me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
