3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
