sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
wow bdsm is so cute
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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