this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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