At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
