Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
