I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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