i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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