My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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