I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
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airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
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I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Still dying that you shit outside
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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