i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
