your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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