you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
