Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm just crazy horny about you
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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