I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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