last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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