Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
