I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dating After Heartbreak
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.