2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think about you every night.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.