and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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