I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
