Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
