I'm gonna have a badass scar
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Please, let me fuck your mom
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
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I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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