You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
