I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
