is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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