i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
