Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
