Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize