I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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