you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is Oprah even human
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
