and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
