i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
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You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
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don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls