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do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
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