Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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