Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.