Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.

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(253): Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life. http://tfl.nu/h3s9

Replies (33) Good night (5045) Bad night (1378)
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(585): View more from New York

are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?

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(585): are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet? http://tfl.nu/shbs

Replies (31) Good night (5345) Bad night (1997)
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(831): View more from California

It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.

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(831): It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse. http://tfl.nu/4ove

Replies (11) Good night (4738) Bad night (1224)
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(718): View more from New York

we need to drink 2009 down the drain

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(718): we need to drink 2009 down the drain http://tfl.nu/q0df

Replies (16) Good night (5098) Bad night (734)
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(541): View more from Oregon

She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it

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(541): She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it http://tfl.nu/9pgr

Replies (3) Good night (2065) Bad night (1136)
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(850): View more from Florida

she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."

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(850): she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.." http://tfl.nu/uij4

Replies (2) Good night (3900) Bad night (934)
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(253): View more from Washington

Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex

(206): View more from Washington

Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy

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(253): Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex (206): Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy http://tfl.nu/0aky

Replies (16) Good night (2728) Bad night (1021)
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(914): View more from New York

If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.

(914): View more from New York

I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.

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(914): If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded. (914): I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit. http://tfl.nu/hj4l

Replies (14) Good night (2014) Bad night (966)
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(650): View more from California

lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses

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(650): lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses http://tfl.nu/4rg9

Replies (12) Good night (1322) Bad night (804)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.

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(908): I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though. http://tfl.nu/x1vh

Replies (4) Good night (1196) Bad night (550)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it

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(630): I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it http://tfl.nu/s57c

Replies (5) Good night (690) Bad night (1766)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.

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(612): i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/9psc

Replies (6) Good night (1353) Bad night (572)
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(305): View more from Florida

I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester

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(305): I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester http://tfl.nu/9j7i

Replies (4) Good night (867) Bad night (352)
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(314): View more from Missouri

That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.

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(314): That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/0h6i

Replies (2) Good night (286) Bad night (734)
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(512): View more from Texas

Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.

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(512): Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking. http://tfl.nu/ecx3

Replies (1) Good night (203) Bad night (356)

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