Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!

(864): View more from South Carolina

Because men are children

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Touche

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(832): Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child! (864): Because men are children (832): Touche http://tfl.nu/qtuf

Replies (217) Good night (1411) Bad night (3510)
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(949): View more from California

I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.

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(949): I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me. http://tfl.nu/kgtm

Replies (19) Good night (598) Bad night (2210)
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(530): View more from California

Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust

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(530): Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust http://tfl.nu/l0ps

Replies (10) Good night (3601) Bad night (888)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.

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(970): Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game. http://tfl.nu/c0fd

Replies (11) Good night (4579) Bad night (583)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I need new friends

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(508): Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag (508): I need new friends http://tfl.nu/z8hc

Replies (83) Good night (991) Bad night (7722)
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(817): View more from Texas

Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.

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(817): Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment. http://tfl.nu/9yfj

Replies (4) Good night (948) Bad night (2312)
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(914): View more from New York

My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.

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(914): My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off. http://tfl.nu/9ogm

Replies (11) Good night (1808) Bad night (4068)
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(863): View more from Florida

Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.

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(863): Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone. http://tfl.nu/onku

Replies (3) Good night (1954) Bad night (904)
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(310): View more from California

Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.

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(310): Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine. http://tfl.nu/yujo

Replies (5) Good night (724) Bad night (1287)
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(775): View more from Nevada

she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever

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(775): she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever http://tfl.nu/gkhb

Replies (11) Good night (566) Bad night (2975)
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(727): View more from Florida

This is John, I met you downtown last night.

(407): View more from Florida

Oh, ok.

(727): View more from Florida

This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night

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(727): This is John, I met you downtown last night. (407): Oh, ok. (727): This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night http://tfl.nu/3jh8

Replies (10) Good night (2554) Bad night (509)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads

(1-787): View more from Puerto Rico

Croutons?

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(787): He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads (1-787): Croutons? http://tfl.nu/yr5t

Replies (3) Good night (1483) Bad night (311)
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(971): View more from Oregon

Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.

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(971): Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should. http://tfl.nu/ipz3

Replies (11) Good night (495) Bad night (863)
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(425): View more from Washington

You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.

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(425): You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows. http://tfl.nu/kzgw

Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (287)
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(503): View more from Oregon

i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source

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(503): i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source http://tfl.nu/1syu

Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (212)

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