i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE