Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The Olympian is in my bed
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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