turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
