im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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