I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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