Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
