He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
