I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
