My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize