i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
