walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
