Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Hippo gnu deer
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
