Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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