I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
