I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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