Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
