just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
