You work out of a Hotel?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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