At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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