I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I AM VODKA MAN
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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