How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
