okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
